I unfolded my heart today and what I found there was a suffering child.
Welcome. I have had a heap of new joiners to my Substack this week so I wanted to take this opportunity to say hello and let you know how grateful I am that you’re here, on this journey with me now.
This is a time now when I am beginning to gather together all the people I have touched through my life into this one place. The place where all the strands of my life will now weave together and continue forward, taking all that has been beautiful from the past and leaving anything unnecessary behind.
If you are here because our paths have crossed in the past, please do take a moment to say hello in the comments below and remind me how we met. I look forward to reconnecting here.
Scroll down to the bottom to do that now, then come back here to read this week’s article,
Love,
Nic x
The Change Starts Here
Last week I shared my one, five and ten year vision.
Underlying this vision is the cause that resonates with my heart: an end to the suffering of children.
This has long been part of my work, without me realising it was an actual thing.
I have supported The Hunger Project for years, from the moment I finished the final page of The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist.
Big Change became my focus this year as their pledge to see a society where every young person is set up to thrive in life, not just exams, spoke to the recent mental health challenges of my own children.
They will not have gone through what they have, and still are, vain.
It's my golden thread and suddenly with clarity, on a train on the way to Cardiff, it stepped forward as the point of it all. The point of everything I have ever done or will ever do.
After all, I see suffering children everywhere and it breaks my heart.
And then today, I suddenly remembered (because I forget all the time): what I see in the outside world is always and only a reflection of my inside world.
The child inside me is suffering.
“Heal her first,” I heard.
There are four ways I know to follow this inner guidance/instruction from God:
1. Knowing the space of a quiet mind is inherently healing to mind, body and soul.
I recognise this last year has been a particularly busy one for the mind.
Lots of learning, lots of questioning, lots of worry, lots of decisions attempting to use logic. There has been a heap of fun this year too, but as I reflect, not a huge amount of peace.
I feel called to return to study the original recordings of Syd Banks and his sharing of the three fundamental principles behind life, and the teachers who followed him. To my own book sharing these same three principles: A Little Peace of Mind.
I had to, out of integrity, step away from this teaching and relying on that understanding in 2021 as life became red in tooth and claw, and other modalities that appeared (but conflicted with the teachings) were more practical as I tried to keep my head above water.
With a little breathing space now and out of acute crisis, I can see that the truth of these three principles was never not true, never can be not true, whatever takes place.
I return to them now with a fresh appreciation, although no longer a ‘purist’, believing they are the answer to everything.
2. Inquiry through Human Design
For me, the Human Design chart is a treasure map for inquiry. Each element of the chart, when reflected upon, can bring a deeper understanding of the essence of the human condition.
From the gate of presence to the channel of charisma. From waiting to respond and watching how the universe delivers life to me when I stop pushing, to understanding the drive to prove my worth as the low expression of the open will centre.
All of which highlight the conditioning and the areas of life where my younger self felt she had to keep herself small, quiet, afraid, pressured to initiate and yet unable to trust her own decisions.
Excavating the heart and healing what is found through gentle holding the shadows to the light and reflecting upon them gently restores the health of that child inside me.
3. Art
Taking the brush in my hand and being free to make a mess, and from that mess, find something beautiful; this makes my heart expand.
As a child, our hearts are open so wide and our self-expression completely without agenda.
The colour and the movement and the passing of hours like minutes: here at the canvas I know I am healing.
This piece was birthed yesterday, and will raise funds for The Hunger Project, part of how I choose to bring an end to the suffering of children. You can find her here.
4. HeartHealing®
Developed by Natasha Bray, this is a beautiful healing modality that addresses the specific relationship wounds formed in our childhood, that continue to unconsciously limit our lives in the present.
I have received profound insights and shifts by receiving this healing myself, and now am training to become a HeartHealing Practitioner.
This will be folded into my brand new offerings, Align her Voice in the new year and The Unfolding in the Spring.
While I hold that space for other women, I will continue to open and unfold my own heart to discover the depths that have been hidden there and heal that child inside me that is suffering.
How do I know there is one?
Because if there weren’t one in here, there wouldn’t be any appearing out there.
That’s just the truth of the way it works.
This insight today does not change my vision in the outer world; I still pledge to donate as much as I am able to the individuals and organisations that are actively bringing an end to the suffering of children in this world.
But I know that real change starts here. With the inner world.
This is important.
Drop me a heart below to let me know you have read this far.
And please, ask me questions and remind me how we first met below.
Nic x